Health

Jealousy: causes and cures

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We’ve all felt a jealous pang or two in our lifetime. But how much is too much? Too many visits from the green-eyed monster can wreak havoc on even the strongest of relationships.

“Jealousy is wanting something someone else has … having a sense of entitlement to something; and so you feel you may be missing out,” explains Anne Hollonds, the CEO of Relationships Australia, NSW.

“There are good and bad aspects of all emotions, and so it’s true that a small dose of jealousy might be helpful.”

For example, Anne says if you see someone flirting with your partner and you feel a tinge of jealousy, the positive is that it might make you realise how important your partner is to you, when maybe you’ve been taking him for granted.

“So in this way it helps to put something on the radar for you … to put you on notice to take action and do something about it,” she adds. “But if you feel it far too frequently, it’s a sign of a bigger problem. It could well become a barrier between you and your partner.

“You might interpret that he’s home late from work as a sign that he doesn’t love me, he’s going to leave me. At that point, the best thing to do, ideally, is to talk about it with each other.”

  • Constantly wonder where your partner is.

  • Check credit cards and/or receipts.

  • Cut yourselves off as a couple, from others, so you can have him all for yourself.

“If you experience it occasionally say, for example, if he notices a pretty girl walking down the street, it’s no big deal,” says Anne.

“But if you feel it every time you’re at a party or a restaurant together; or he goes to a work function in the evening and you’re sitting at home stewing, then yes it’s a problem.

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