Ahhh, menstruation. Isn’t it wonderful?
I mean, who doesn’t love dull cramps and headaches and breakouts and absurd cravings and spontaneous crying and realising you're on your last tampon 10 minutes into a flight to Melbourne (if anything will cause spontaneous crying, it’s that).
Truth time: periods, for the most part, aren't particularly pleasant. And I say ‘for the most part’ because sometimes it’s kind of nice to wear your daggiest and saggiest undies under your roomiest smock to work, and simply not care because hey, at least you actually left the house.
^Me right now/whose idea was it to ask me to write this on my period?
Hormonal rant aside, That Time Of The Month can actually do some pretty cool and very weird things to your body.
You might have noticed a change to your usual poo-tine (poop routine) during your period. This is due to progesterone changes in the cycle, which can alter intestinal motility and bowel movements.
While it may make some of us a little blocked up, this hormonal shift can also have the opposite effect on others, causing more frequency in toilet visits and in some cases, diarrhoea.
That same dip in progesterone can also be held responsible for the reason why you might suddenly find yourself attracted to just about every Tom, Dick and Harry that walks by you in a suit.
During this time, even the cheesiest pick-up lines may send you into a hot mess of eyelash fluttering and hair flicks.
Hot tip: Maybe don't watch 50 Shades of Grey.
A 2011 study found that the menstrual cycle can alter a woman’s voice, so much so, that men were actually able to detect a difference.
From recordings taken before and during, male participants had a 35 per cent success rate in determining when a woman was on her period.
And while that may not sound like a high achievement, it’s a considerably better rate than if they were to simply guess.
A 2014 study has kindly provided us with the reason why we may feel particular dopey during our time of the month.
Researchers found that pain caused by menstrual cramps actually impacted brain function and cognitive ability, which in turn negatively affected test scores, multi-tasking ability and attention span.
Anyone who’s ever had a bikini wax during their period can vouch for this…
The release of prostaglandin hormones, which help the uterine lining shed, make the body significantly more pain sensitive.
Not only that, prostaglandin also makes the blood vessels more constricted, causing that delightfully blotchy flush.
- BooksIVF, swapped embryos and unimaginable heartbreak: Why The Mothers has made us question everything
Australian Women's WeeklyJan 23, 2020