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Married At First Sight season 4 episode 1 recap

The seven OMG moments we can't stop talking about.

#1 Drinking up (and up and up)

Supersizing the cast size isn’t the only change this season. MAFS producers have also taken a rose out of The Bachelor cocktail parties by locking all the singles in two segregated houses the night before their weddings with a lifetime supply of grog. On one side of town, bromance is in the air on the “bucks night” as the boys trade yarns and gags about the wedding night. Meanwhile, the single women are throwing back glasses of wine on their faux hen’s night – so much so, that you can’t help but hope their wedding parties have solid supplies of Panadol and Gatorade on hand for the next day. The only thing missing? “Where are the strippers?” asked the loud-mouthed Cheryl, a 25-year-old hair salon manager from Queensland. “No seriously.” Our thoughts exactly, Cheryl. Shame, really, that single lad Michael, who moonlights as a stripper on the weekends, couldn’t make it…

#2 Our surprise villain

Speaking of Michael: the pre-show marketing framed this six-pack on legs as the series villain and the fussiest contestant they’ve ever had. But, when it comes to watching this fitness-obsessed single, there may be more than meets the eye. He’s hardworking, doesn’t cave into vices and, while he’s yet to talk about much more than “training” and “protein”, you’ve got to shed a laugh when someone’s list of sought-after qualities includes “little ears”. The heart wants what it wants. In fact, the producers clearly wanted us fooled – and fooled, we were. The real villain of the series is actually 29-year-old entrepreneur Jonathan, who the experts refer to as a “peacock”, emphasis on the… well, you get the idea. He admits to the other husbands-to-be that he’s cheated and is “very picky”, brags about his expensive lifestyle choices, and starts every second sentence with “Being an entrepreneur…”

#3 Cheryl’s one-liners and…

The comedic gold is ripe in episode one, mainly thanks to Cheryl who has the one quality that reality TV producers cherish the most: absolutely no filter. “Don’t do protein farts around me!” she says at one point. At another, gesturing to her revealing wedding gown, she asks her friend if the outfit is “Too booby?” The answer. “You got them for a reason.” Cue: raucous laughter. In fact, it’s Cheryl’s nervous giggling and panicked narration of every moment of the big day that makes her such top-notch viewing, especially when the experts dig a little deeper and you realise she’s a hell of a lot more mature and together than she lets on.

#4 Cheryl’s dad’s heckling (and kilt)

Look, if Jonathan hadn’t made so many eye-rolling statements (“The most important person in my life? Definitely myself”, anyone?) then we would have felt sorry for him being teased on his wedding day. Yet… we don’t. Donning his kilt for the occasion, Cheryl’s dad grilled Jonathan in front of all the guests – multiple times. No topic was left untouched, from his height and strength, through to his ability to provide and care for Cheryl. Savage. This dad makes Meet The Parents look like a dream.

#5 Sweet Sean and his whopper of a cowboy hat

As the saying goes: never judge a book by its cover. Or, in this case, a cowboy by his ginormous cowboy hat. Divorcee Sean is unlucky in love, but all he wants is someone to share his life with. He’s kind and gentle, and if gets his heart broken and has to return to the farm alone then we don’t know what we’ll do. Consider our heartstrings well and truly tugged. (Just wait until you meet his dad, who is so adorable when he blubbers “I just love Sean to death” that he’s earned himself a “World’s Greatest Dad” mug from us this year. Get the Kleenex ready.)

#6 Jonathan’s crazy “friend” running her mouth

You know who everyone dreams of having by their side on their big day? Their former flame… said no-one ever. One minute Emma the (seems-to-be Jonathan’s) ex is lying to Cheryl by claiming she is his sister (ah, no), then the next she’s huddled up in the corner of the reception, crowing that she absolutely doesn’t think Cheryl is his type. Copious drinks later, she then blurts out, “I don’t think she is the person for Jon because the person for Jon is already out there.” Uh oh. Whether they’re exes or it’s unrequited love, Emma is mad for the groom. The groom who just married someone else on national TV. Emma proceeds to weep through the rest of the reception and get into an altercation with Cheryl’s protective sister, making the producers deliriously happy that Jonathan was silly enough to invite Emma along.

#7 Sean and Susan’s love-fest

But now to the best of the best. Thanks to this duo, we believe in love again. There we said it. From the second Sean and Susan lay eyes on each other, they’re invested. Sean’s take? “She was stunning, elegant, everything a man could ask for.” Susan’s take? “I think it’s going to be easy to love him – that guy is meant for me.” Holding hands, kissing every chance they can… and the night culminates in a private bubble bath for two. We’re a bit nervous to see how they’ll tackle a Western Australia to Queensland long distance relationship, though…

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