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From calling herself a "loose unit" to a surprise musical number, here are Julia Morris' best moments from the 2022 TV WEEK Logies opening monologue

''I just don't want to get cancelled. That's all I want to do tonight.''

By Catie Powers
After a two year hiatus due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the TV WEEK Logie Awards are officially back!
Now that the attendees have hit the red carpet at The Star in Queensland's Gold Coast, the ceremony has kicked off with Gold Logie nominee Julia Morris.
While the night is undoubtedly about recognising the best of the best in the Australian TV industry, a special part of every TV WEEK Logies is always the presenter skits. And none is more anticipated than the opening monologue.
Julia Morris opened the TV WEEK Logies. (Image: Getty)
The last monologue was delivered by 2019 Gold Logie winner Tom Gleeson who poked fun at his industry pals.
This year, the ceremony was kicked off by Julia Morris. In case you missed it, we've rounded up the best moments from her speech below.
Julia referring to herself as a "loose unit".
"What sort of night do we have ahead of us when we let a loose unit like me open the show? I don't know," she said.
"What sort of night do we have ahead of us when we let a loose unit like me open the show? I don't know." (Image: Nine)
Julia discussing the gender pay gap
"For everybody watching at home, do not adjust your television... I'm not a man... The deal was that I could open the show as long as I dressed like a man.
"The Logies team has not got a man opening the show... No, they pushed the man opening the show... That is gone and they have gone for 30 per cent less... a rich white woman.
"We're finally talking about this on the table in our industry guys; wage disparity between men and women. It's time. Am I right?"
Julia trying not to get "cancelled"
"I just don't want to get cancelled. That's all I want to do tonight.
"I'm fascinated when people get cancelled and they say: 'You know what, I was speaking my truth. It was all my truth'. I say: 'Truth? Seriously, you're in television... there's absolutely no truth in television'. So everybody just relax. I'm a 54-year-old woman. I dye my hair. I wax my legs...
"I have fake nails. I have age spots lasered off my décolletage. I've had the hoods cut back in my eyes guys. Literally my eyes cut right back and opened. I have hydro facials. I have a personal trainer.
"You know the worse thing about looking this good? No-one is allowed to tell me anymore. No-one is allowed to tell me: 'You look good old Lady J Mo'."
Julia talking about her fellow TV WEEK Gold Logie nominees
"Do allow me to point out each of the male Gold nominees The magnificent Ray Meagher won the Gold Logie in 2010. We have super fun star Karl Stefanovic who won the Gold in 2011. We've got Hamish Blake who won his Gold in 2012. And of course we are not legally allowed to talk about when Tom Gleeson won the Gold in 2019," she joked.
"My fellow Gold nominee ladies are a couple of fine, fresh, fierce fire starters. The wonderful Sonia Kruger and I started together in the Gosford Musical together before television existed. 73 years later here we are, both Gold nominees.
"Of course, we've got the glorious Melissa Leong who when I watch her on MasterChef her perfect descriptions of dishes make me want to go out and make appointment with the ingredients so I get to know her better.
"Good luck to our ladies up for Gold. Wonderful to see you in the house."
Julia reluctantly joining a last-minute musical number. (Image: Nine)
Julia warning winners to "keep it short" before being interrupted by a surprise musical number
"Look, if you are lucky enough to win tonight and get on the stage, let's keep it short. I don't mean to be rude; I don't want to hear about your sister's cousin's sister's aunt. This is not your TED Talk.
"Now is the time. Let's get under way with our first award," Julia said, before the John Foreman orchestra broke out into an extremely jazzy number... much to the comedian's surprise.
As professional dancers tried to get the presenter to join the performance, Julia jokingly shouted "1.5 metres", referring to the COVID-19 social distancing rules, as she attempted to evade the theatrics.

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