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Khloe Kardashian: “I’m at war with myself.”

Khloe Kardashian: “I’m at war with myself.”

It’s no secret that Khloe Kardashian has been facing her own marriage woes with former NBA player Lamar Odom, but the reality star aired her concerns in public for the first time last week on her family’s hit show Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

“A lot has been going on the past couple of years, just with me and Lamar. I have made that choice myself to keep that within my marriage. But lately it has been getting bigger than me,” the star admitted to her brother Rob Kardashian.

Standing in Lamar’s LA mansion, the 29-year-old confided in her brother – and, of course, millions of television viewers.

“It is scary, there is a lot going on, there are paparazzi, like hundreds of them that wait outside my gates. It is not easy. Sometimes things are bigger than yourself and I don’t have a plan, I don’t know what the next step is,” she said.

“What am I supposed to do? I’ve done everything,”

Lamar, 34, and his buxom Kardashian have been battling marriage problems, stemming in large part from the basketball player’s alleged problems with substance abuse.

The 2.08m (6’10”) basketball star has refused to go to rehab and, although supposedly committed to sobriety, allegedly continues to party and take drugs.

Responding to Khloe’s plea for advice, Rob was quick to sympathise with her but also pointed out what Lamar meant to their family.

“I don’t know, like he is so loveable, he is liked by everybody and he is a great athlete, it sucks, it has never been this way,” said Rob.

“All you can do is pray and just keep trying, if you want to keep trying.”

But Khloe, who has watched her husband face DUI charges and keep feeding his drug addiction, isn’t sure how much more she can take.

“If someone gets their legs cut off, or you get breast cancer, do you just leave someone because they’re slowing down your life? I’m trying to help and save him,” she confessed.

“I’m at war with myself. I want to help him, but sometimes the best help is stepping away, and I just feel like I might need some more help, so I have to kind of tell my family.”

Khloe and Lamar, who married just 30 days after they met, have been vocal about his past struggles with depression.

“Lamar is a very depressed person, which is sad but understandable with everything that he has been through in his life,” explained Khloe.

Lamar has certainly led a tough life.

He was raised by his grandmother because his father was a heroin addict and his mother died of colon cancer when he was 12.

Then, at 27, he lost his six-month-old son Jayden that he had with ex-girlfriend Liza Morales when the child died from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Five years later, in 2011, he lost his cousin, who was shot to death in New York. Two days after his cousin’s death, Lamar was involved in a car accident, while being chauffeur driven, that resulted in the death of a 15-year-old pedestrian.

While Lamar’s past explains a lot of his behaviour of late, it remains to be seen if Khloe can help her husband out of this dark time or whether she’ll be left with no choice but to walk away.

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