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Why modern women can't find love

Women are neglecting their 'feminine side', says Australia's longest-serving matchmaker.
Yvonne Allen, who started her agency in the 1970s, has told The Australian Women's Weekly that modern women are losing the skills of attracting and keeping love.
They are also too fussy, and are demanding perfection from men even though they are far from perfect themselves, she says.
"In 36 years, I've witnessed huge changes," Yvonne says. "The things that have been happening with women — there are huge changes, the business professional women are a very different being.
"I think we've taken on a Maggie Thatcher-style model in terms of doing things like a man and beating them at their own game," she tells this month's magazine.
"With the focus on that, we've often not tended to the feminine aspects. Certainly the way we operate as men and women has changed and our expectations are so high … there could be the ideal man in front of them and they're not recognising him."
Romantic comedies, magazines and books have given women an unrealistic idea of love and relationships, Yvonne says.
"A lot of women who are really lonely are lonely because of how they think they should be ... People look at each other often to see what's missing rather than seeing what's there."
Some also demand high standards from a partner but fail to ask what they could bring to the relationship.
"We had a woman recently, 46, demanding to meet a man who wants children," says Yvonne. "Not realising a man who wants to have children is not going to want to meet a 46-year-old."
Yvonne is so concerned about this that she intends to start workshops to teach women how to get in touch with their feminine side.
Her tips include taking a break between work and a date so you don't arrive in corporate/mother mode. Another is to avoid having specific "shopping lists", and be realistic about what you're bringing to the table.
Where women go wrong in the dating game:
  • Arriving at dates in work/mother mode. Try to take a break or change outfits so you don't take the day with you.
  • Holding high expectations. Unrealistic expectations will end in disappointment.
  • Having specific "shopping lists". Ask yourself how lists are going to make a relationship work.
  • Failing to look at what you're taking to the table. What needs of your own are you expecting him to meet and are you being realistic about that?
  • Failing to understand that, rightly or wrongly, men judge women on their sexual behaviour.
  • Demanding constant proof of his affection. Men don't function like women and if he doesn't call every day, it's not a reflection on how much he cares.
Read more of this story in the May issue of The Australian Women's Weekly.

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