Somebody send us to an island because love is just a figment of our imaginations, embedded by guru Osher Günsberg.
Last week, Sophie Monk announced on Instagram that she and her Bacherlor winning beau Stu Laundy had broken up.
Turns out, that's how the publican found out about the split.
Deciding to ease the pain by chatting to mates Fitzy & Wippa on their radio show, the 45-year-old delved into the "break up".
"It was only when Soph made that announcement," he said, live on-air.
"I found out via Instagram (of the break-up) but having said that we both knew it in our hearts. We had discussed pushing more towards a friendship."
"It was a decision I think we'd both been coming to, Soph just decided and she did it in a very nice way."
Sophie's decision to call time on her three month relationship is believed to have been tipped over the edge following a report that she "partied too much."
Stu, a father to four kids, told the radio duo, "She is not a party girl, absolutely not."
He did confess, "We certainly had a few tiffs about things that were said."
The Sydney-based millionaire did tell the boys, "I found the love of my life once and I'll have to keep searching unfortunately."
As for his views on Sophie, Stu has nothing but respect.
"We're the best of friends and I think we will be for a long time. She's the funniest girl I've ever met in my life — hilarious."
"The way that they do that show [The Bachelorette] you sort of feel like a caged lion — everyone was feeling the same way."
Remarking, "Your feelings really escalate because of the way they run the show. I was living out of the QT in Bondi doing all the promotions and stuff. We were living out of a suitcase and living in each others' pockets so that is when we really got to know each other in the fair-dinkum department."
"I get my children in the school holidays and I had a couple of weeks with the kids and came back to Australia (from Canada) so I didn't see Soph in a while."
On Friday 26th January, Sophie, 38, confirmed every Australian's nagging suspicion that she was well and truly over the yacht owner.
Penning a rather epic message, she posted the following to Instagram:
"I don't know how to explain this because it's an unusual circumstance to be in," the post began.
"But because I entered this relationship so publicly, I know I owe an answer to Australia about my personal life."
"I went into this experience looking to settle down and start a family," she continued. "I gave it the best shot I could and my intentions were everything I said I was looking for, but unfortunately it just didn't work out."
From Bachelorette to break up. Watch the video below and find out everything you need to know about Sophie Monk and Stu Laundy
The reality television star didn't go into the specifics of why the relationship ended, but she did admit that she and the millionaire publican are very different people.
"As much as I respect him, we are just very different people," she wrote in the early-morning post. "There were no contracts or pressure to stay together whatsoever from anyone and we remain friends."
Adding, "The positive in this whole experience is it taught me to jump out of my comfort zone in order to find real love and made me much stronger."
Sophie ended the emotional post with an apology to fans who followed the couple throughout their highly-publicised courtship.
"I sincerely want to apologise to anyone who invested so much love and support and I hope I haven't disappointed anyone," she said.
Despite Soph's insistence that there were no "lock-in contracts", eagle eyed fans couldn't help but notice the end date was exactly three months after the finale ended.
With the nation's adoration for Sophie and her quest to find "The One"...
We hope she can sail away to a magical land, a Love Island if you will, in search of the mythical being that can tame her heart.
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Australian Women's WeeklyFeb 14, 2019