It's Sandra Bullock's level headedness and resilience that is helping her through the aftermath of the affair allegations that have destroyed her marriage. But she is determined to action a divorce "master plan" on her terms.
Since details of her husband's sordid affairs emerged soon after she was awarded an Oscar for her role in The Blind Side, Sandra has maintained a dignified silence. But behind the scenes she's not only been mourning the loss of her relationship but also coming to terms with the most painful of betrayals.
An insider told Fox 411.com Sandra has definitely come to grips with the fact that Jesse James, who had been married twice before meeting Sandra, was not the guy she thought he was.
"Sandra got to be with a side of Jesse that he rarely gave to anyone else and now she's seeing what everyone else always saw," the unnamed friend said.
"They were truly from different worlds and Sandra sees that Jesse lived a double life with her. She's so level-headed and grounded and that is what is getting her through this."
The same friend revealed that Sandra, who's tortured by her concern for Jesse's three children whom she cares for dearly, has a master plan to end their six-year marriage.
"[The infidelity scandal has] broken her heart and they will divorce," the source told Fox411.com.
"She is trying to pick her way through the mess and all the stress of knowing his three children will be hurt no matter what happens. The kids are what is holding her back from filing for the divorce immediately. It's been tough and she wants to find a balance for them — they deserve some stability, even through the divorce," they said.
"With Jesse in rehab, she is trying to tread lightly. Sandra is doing this on her own timeline and refuses to budge or give in to people who say she should divorce him immediately," they told Fox411.com.
"Jesse and his children are her family and in some ways always will be. She is not ready to scrap it all as fast as possible. She's taken some time off and plans to stay out of the spotlight. Sandra and Jesse will talk again, but divorce will happen. She has a master plan."