During a candid chat to TV WEEK, star of The Real Housewives Of Melbourne Janet Roach reveals the hidden torment she endured while filming the show's latest season.
Last year, the 59-year-old found out her father Bevan had inoperable cancer and only three months to live.
Sadly, he died in October, soon after they finished filming the show's fourth season.
"This was actually my worst season," the reality star says. "I was absolutely distraught. And I didn't want to talk about my dad as a storyline, as my mother would have had kittens."
While she didn't want to discuss it at the time, she says the show's producers knew what was going on.
"They were amazing," she says. "At the end, I collapsed in a heap and was very teary. I was very sensitive."
Despite the other RHOM stars knowing the situation, Janet claims fellow cast member Gina Liano and ally Lydia Schiavello accused her of drinking to excess.
Janet admits she used alcohol as a coping mechanism when she was finding things difficult. In fact, she even had a nasty fall in Mexico after drinking shots of tequila.
"The girls were giving me grief for drinking too much," she says. "And the truth is, I was drinking too much.
"I really was self-medicating – I just wasn't coping at all. But things are looking up now. My life has done a turnaround."
To read the full interview, pick up the latest issue of TV WEEK - on sale now!