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Michelle Williams’ revelations about parenting without Heath Ledger are truly devastating

This is not what I imagined.

Michelle Williams has given a very candid interview to Porter magazine where she talked about the realities she’s had to face while raising her daughter Matilda alone without former partner, Heath Ledger.

The 36-year-old is on the promotional tour for her new film, Manchester by the Sea, where she portrays a heartbroken mother trying to start a new life – a role that hits close to home for the actress.

When Ledger died from an accidental prescription drug mix up in 2008 he and Michelle’s daughter was just two and a half.

In her chat with Porter Williams says her former partner’s death has impacted her and her child’s life immeasurably and tells of how she still struggles to understand Ledger’s fate.

“In all honesty, for pretty much everything else, I feel like I’m a believer in not fighting circumstances, accepting where you are and where you’ve been,” Williams told Porter. She continued, “In pretty much all senses but one, I would be able to go totally down that line of thinking were it not for Matilda not having her dad. You know, that’s just something that doesn’t – I mean, it just won’t ever be right.”

Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger at the Oscars in 2006.

Reflecting on what her younger self would think about her life now William’s hinted that her life hasn’t gone exactly to plan.

“Talk about a learning process,” she said to Porter. “I think, God, what would I say about it? I feel really sensitive about it and certainly did not expect to still be dating at 36 with an 11-year-old. This is not what I imagined.”

For Michelle now, her priority is giving Matilda a wonderful life.

Michelle Williams raises her daughter Matilda mostly in NYC.

While the My Week with Marilyn starlet has been in many high-profile relationships, including romances with Jason Segal, Dustin Yellin and Cary Joji Fukunaga, none have seen her settle in long-term and she went on to joke about how her best friend and former Dawson’s co-star and Matilda’s godmother, Busy Phillips, gave her some pretty honest feedback about her dating prospects.

“My friend Busy and her husband Marc [Silverstein] said, ‘Michelle, you’re in like a blackout zone, everybody is now partnered up and you have to wait for people to start getting divorced,’” she told Porter.

Williams laughed and responded to Phillips’ comment stating, “Oh my f–king God. Are you kidding me? I’m just sitting around and waiting for marriages to crumble? Oh wow! No!”

But for now Michelle is happy to embrace her role as mum.

“I’m like a cat, I’m a very domestic creature,” Williams told Porter, “I just want to stay home and take care of people.” And she’s not hell bent on making her romantic life the cornerstone to her future. “But I’m also happy with myself and just because I might have a desire to be with someone,” she explained, “that won’t lead me to marry the wrong person.”

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