Sex & Relationships

How Jenny McCarthy escaped a “dark, abusive” relationship

It was a relationship the brave actress said “could have easily killed me”.

Jenny McCarthy learned the hard way that true love comes from within.

She was “beautiful by choice” at the launch for Schwarzkopf Gliss’ latest campaign, but bravely opening up to E! News, Jenny McCarthy admitted a toxic relationship once made her feel the opposite.

“What I thought was gonna be a typical relationship, turned into a relationship that you would never think you would get yourself into. Especially me,” the 44-year-old said of a four-year partnership with a man she would not name.

“I mean, I really consider myself to be pretty strong-willed and confident, even back then. But I did find myself being slowly manipulated in to a very, very dark, abusive—verbally abusive—relationship that could have easily killed me.”

“I no longer had my own thoughts. They were replaced with his thoughts about me,” she says of the dark time.

“That I was worthless, disgusting, talent-less, ugly, fat, smelled so badly. I was no longer worthy of being kissed.”

She admits it took “four years of excruciating, verbal abuse” to learn she was worth a whole lot more. “In that moment, I found my accountability in the hell I was living in,” she said.

“The path to loving yourself requires you to stop putting the blame on others and observe the choices you make that got you there. It wasn’t his job to love me. It was mine,” she said. “So I chose to finally get the hell out of that relationship. I chose to be powerful not powerless.”

The actress dated comedian Jim Carrey for about five years.

Jenny went on to explain how she learned she deserved a love greater than any she’d experienced before, and not long after taking control, she found ‘The One’.

“I said, ‘I don’t want to be a teacher to any more guys. I want to just love. I want someone that reflects the love that I have inside of me.’ That’s it. A reflection of where I’m at, because I felt like I was at a really great place and within probably a month, I met Donnie [Wahlburg].

“We quickly, quickly knew on a deeper level that this was something very special and something that we didn’t want to screw up,” she continued. “So we made sure that we did things the right way.”

Her decision to speak out came from the empowerment she felt lied within Schwarzkopf Gliss’ campaign slogan, “beautiful by choice”.

“It reminded me that beauty is not just a physical attribute, it’s something much more deeper and expands beyond anything on the outside,” she said.

“And I thought about the things that I thought were beautiful and things that I overcame and I wanted to share something that I thought was beautiful, which is self-love.”

The beauty dated manager Ray Manzella from 1994 until 1998.

Jenny, who’s now happily married to Donnie, previously dated manager Ray Manzella for four years in the ‘90s before dating and marrying actor John Mallory Asher who she now shares a 14 year old son with.

She also shared a five-year relationship with comedian Jim Carrey.

In Australia, one woman dies every week at the hands of domestic violence. If you need to talk to someone about your situation, visit the White Ribbon website or call 1800RESPECT now.

Jenny has found her lobster in Donnie Wahlberg.

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